I've been doing some thinking over the past few days (this is when the girls I used to work with would head for the doors). A few days ago I wrote about my son's passion for technology. He knows in his soul this is what he is supposed to do and he's following that dream. It's not a still voice. It's not a small voice. It's a voice that is driving him, motivating him. He is determined! Sometimes it makes ME crazy, but it's not my voice, it's his and I will respect it. Fortunately, for me, I've had people in my life who have shown me that it's important to follow that voice. It's truly amazing what can happen when you really listen!
I have a friend who called me a few years ago. She'd just been offered her dream job, but it was two hundred miles away. Her son was a couple of years away from graduating from high school. She had made a promise to him that he would not have to move before then. What to do? That voice inside her was telling her to take the job. Her husband told her to take the job. I told her to take the job. But she still wasn't sure.
I have been in the same position over the past eighteen months. As a single parent, it has been my sole responsibility to provide for my son for the past ten years. I've always been a teacher, but my heart sings when I use the creative side of my spirit! Don't get me wrong, I love teaching! Reaching that student that has fallen through the cracks or helping that young teenage girl find her own voice also makes my heart sing. My voice is telling me to find a way to do it all!
So my question here is: why do we 'adults' have so much trouble listening to that voice? Why is it still and small? Do we really think that because we're older we shouldn't enjoy life as much? Does being responsible also mean less joy? I don't think so! I think life has a tendency to beat us down, some of us more than others. It can make us afraid to step outside of what we have become and into what we could be. I've been pretty fortunate in my life to do pretty much what I wanted to do. I think this unemployment has been an opportunity for me to take stock of where I am and what I want the second half of my life to look like.
I am certain that there will be those that will not agree with the choices that I make. These people are probably the same ones who didn't like my choices before. That's OK. I know that my voice is not going to be still and it's not going to be small. Oh, by the way, my friend took that job and she has spent the last almost three years loving her work. My son's new business is almost off the ground. And the second half of my life is off to a great start!