Monday, November 12, 2018

My Heart Is His

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
 Isaiah 30:18

I haven't written for a while, here or anywhere else. Lots of reasons but mostly I couldn't put my thoughts together.  I needed a little time to 'be still' and allow GOD to work in his time.

Have you ever noticed that it's always the last thing we do...when we've done all we can do, then we pray, then we leave it at the cross?  Why is that?  After all, if we truly know Christ, then the first thing we should do is go there, right?

It's just backwards from the way we human beings think, and isn't that exactly what my one of my favorite scriptures says, "My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts," or, as the New Living Translation says, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.  "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8.

So, why is it that we try to fix it first and then take it to the LORD?

I was reading an article the other day listing six signs that you're under spiritual attack.  Huh, interesting; I wonder what those might be.  Satan isn't something I talk about a lot.  I recognize his presence in the world and I have taught the kids that that presence is the force that produces the ugliness in the world, but I don't spend a lot of time there.  I prefer to focus my energy on the good, on GOD.

So I was reading this article and as I went down the list, it became apparent to me that of the six attacks I was facing all but one of them. As my pastor said to me not too long ago, "It feels like they're coming from every corner," and he was right.  It certainly felt that way.

Here's what has come to me as I've processed the last few weeks...

It's not our fight.

This fight is in the spiritual realm and there is NOTHING we can do to win it.  In fact, it's already been won.This particular battle may be over and it might appear that 'the good guys' have lost, but the war is the LORD'S and he doesn't lose. 

He may decide that this particular battle is over, it's not worth the fight on this front right now, but the war is HIS.  He knows our deepest thoughts.  He knows our hearts.  He knows what we need and when we need it.

I said to someone not so long ago, "I'm so tired.  I need a break from this, at least for a while.  Wouldn't it be nice to have an 8:00 to 5:00, Monday through Friday job with the flexibility to set my own schedule?  Something that didn't take everything I have?  A place that I can rest for a while.  Something with some benefits and, maybe even, advancement.  A place where I can get my life back.  Not that I minded giving everything I have to this place, but I have found that my well is dry.  In trying to serve the LORD with everything I have, I am depleted."

"But I'll serve as long as you want me to, Lord!"

My new job will, probably, begin soon.  It is back in childcare, where I spent so much time in my early days in Nebraska.  It will be 8:00 to 5:00, Monday through Friday.  I will set my own schedule working from home two days a week and out visiting childcare homes three days.  I will have better benefits than I have had since I was in the public school system.  It is something that I can advance in, across the country.  

Do you see that?  

I keep thinking of Elijah as he ran from Jezebel..."Just kill me now," he said. "I am done."  And GOD took him to the wilderness and then to shelter where he was fed, cared for and given an assistant.

I am certainly no Elijah, please don't misunderstand!  I would never make that comparison, but isn't that what the Bible is about...finding those stories in which we can find ourselves?
And then know that GOD was with them and if he can be with them, then he'll be with me long as my heart is his.

I cannot tell you more about what my immediate (or long-term) future holds and, to be honest, if I start thinking about all of the answers yet to come...where will we live, can we make ends meet in the will this affect my son...

I become overwhelmed.

But you all know me.  I look for the lessons.  What is the lesson in this?  

  • God is still good (and always will be).

  • I can trust him to do what is best.

  • I am wonderfully loved.

  • Whatever is in store for us, GOD will be there.

I want to thank you for all the love and support you have given over the past days, months, and years.  You have served as the hands and hearts of God and we have felt it.  

Thank you!

And thank you, Most Dear Heavenly Father!

Monday, January 16, 2017

Does Truth Exist Anymore?

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Image result for picture for what is truth
I was just reading my last post, from just before the election of our newest president, and I admit I had to chuckle.  I meant what I said at the time, but I've had a little more time to watch and observe over the past couple of months, and,  I have to tell you, I am greatly concerned.  I'm talking about two things here:  first, the man who is so openly and freely cutting and slashing anyone and everyone who dares to disagree with him about anything; and second, and perhaps more importantly, this country that is so divided. 
Let's start with the man.  I had hoped, during the campaign, that a lot of what he was doing was to win votes and assure himself the presidency.  We have seen in the aftermath, that this is just the man.  I don't expect any human being to be perfect in every way nor do I expect him (or her) to always rise to the occasion and be 'presidential,' but I do expect my president, the president of the United States of America, to be a grown-up, to handle things in a mature and responsible way.  I don't expect that I will always agree with what this person does, but I do expect them to behave in a way commensurate with the office.  The campaign is over and the work needs to begin.  This president, our president, is not CEO of a corporation, he is the President.  How can I expect the children and youth that I work with to behave responsibly with the leader of the free world is setting the precise example I'm trying to teach them not to be?  You can watch him on video, you can read his tweets, you can read interviews that he has done.  His very words and actions are out there to be consumed. 
And here's where we get to the second concern. I just don't understand how those of us consuming this information can be so divided.  How can two people, good friends and family, sit and watch exactly the same thing and come away with such alternate universe interpretations of what we've just watched?  I know these people.  I know their hearts and they are some of the kindest, most loving people I've ever known and when they don't see what I just know I saw, I begin to question my own sanity.  I watched our president-elect mock and belittle a handicapped person, not once but three different times.  It wasn't a video that came later.  It was live at his events.  I watched.  I heard.  I wanted to find something in this man that I could support.  And instead I watched him, on live television, mocking a handicapped reporter who had written something this man didn't like.  
I watched and heard him on that bus talking about the way he treats women.  This behavior wasn't terribly surprising to me given that the man has been married three times and I've heard him in the past, not reported, I've heard him with his own mouth, talk about the way he ranks women.  While I don't agree with it or condone it, as a private citizen I guess he has the right to behave that way, just as I have the right to oppose that behavior, but as President of the United States, we would hope that this person would have better moral fiber than what we have heard and witnessed.  And yet, again, my friends who would never behave in this manner or condone such behavior, supported this man and still do as our president.
I just can't wrap my head around this dichotomy.  How can people so loving, kind and generous to everyone they meet, be so eager to overlook or just plain not see what this man blatantly is in every fiber of his being?  Those pictures just don't fit together in my head.  As troubled as I am about this man being our president, and believe me I have grave concerns about his emotional and mental health, I am more troubled by this lack of understanding between my friends and myself.  I ask myself how it is possible that they don't see what I see?  How can they not hear what I hear?  And, how did I not see this division between us before now?
I always knew that we disagreed on politics.  While I am not as far left as some of my friends, I'm fairly far to the left in equal proportion to my friends on the right.  And they are my friends, my chosen family.  I sit and listen to them discuss their concerns about the government and the economy and I always assumed that our differences were mostly political, but now I am wondering what I missed.  Because when I listen to them now, they are espousing 'information' and 'truths' that have long-ago been dispelled.  There is evidence to the contrary, many times over but they can't or won't let go of those beliefs that they heard and agreed with on some show or read in some book that has to be more correct than nine other sources telling them something different.  They don't even question.  They know.  They are correct and, poor me, 'she just doesn't understand.' 
How in the world did we get here?  Is there just so much 'information' available in our world today that we no longer know how to disseminate it?  How do you sift through all of the newsfeeds and the blogs and the books and the magazine articles and the television shows and...  How?  Well, we find those celebrities - news or otherwise - that we trust.  They have to know better than us, right?  It's what they do for a living so they have to know.  AND, they agree with me so they must be right.
Walter Cronkite is gone.  Huntley and Brinkley are gone.  Most of us trusted them.  They reported the news - period.  There were no personal views or ideologies given.  Just the news and if you wanted more information then you looked at the news magazines or the newspapers.  If you wanted someone's opinion you read the op-ed page, but you understood that it was just that - someone's opinion, hopefully based on facts, but it was their opinion.  Understood.  
It seems that now we just look for someone who's opinion matches our own and then whatever we agree on must be the truth.  So I wanted to know what the definition of truth was today. 
Truth:  1)that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality; 2) a fact or belief that is accepted as true. 
Did you know that this definition has changed over the years?  It's true (pun intended).  The definition of truth from the 1898 Merriam-Webster dictionary says this: 
Truth -
     1) ...exact accordance with that which is, or has been, or shall be...
     2) True state of facts or things.
     3) Conformity of words to thought, which is called moral truth.
     4) Veracity; purity from falsehood.
     5) Correct opinion.
     6) Fidelity, Constancy.
     7) Honesty, Virtue.
     8) Exactness, Conformity to Rule.
     9) Real fact of just principle.
   10) Sincerity.
   11) Jesus Christ is called the truth, John 14.
Now, I guess I need you to help me.  I don't understand how 'truth' can change.  It seems to me that if you look at the first two definitions, the modern ones, we have taken  the second one moreso than the first.  Instead of looking at 'that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality', we have decided that 'a fact' or, more importantly, 'a belief, is accepted as true.'
I understand that two of us can watch the same accident and come away with two very different stories of the event.  Our life experiences have left us to interpret those events in our own, unique way.  But somewhere in the midst of those varying accounts, is the truth, the actual event. 
When that kid stole that car that morning in Kansas City and ran from police through an intersection and t-boned the car my son and his father were in, there were lots of witnesses, with lots of versions of the story, but there was one truth to the event.  There was the lady whose apartment this young man entered in an attempt to hide from the police.  Her version of the story was not the same as the lady whose car had been hit by the car my son and his dad were in.  Different stories, but one truth. 
When did it become accepted practice to only accept MY version as the truth? "I am right.  You are wrong.  Always.  In every circumstance. Period.  Just you wait.  I'll find someone who will agree with me and we'll show you truth."  When did that happen?
The Father in heaven must be so saddened, yet again, at our failure.  Jesus Christ is THE Truth and I know that looking for answers here in this world is probably a futile effort and yet, I am human, and I want to know how this happened?  What did I miss?  What happened to Veracity, Correct Opinion, Fidelity, Honesty, Virtue, Exactness, and Real Fact of Just Principle?  There can be none if your 'real facts,' your 'exactness,' and your 'just principle' cannot find common ground with mine.
I used to always believe that there was nothing our country couldn't survive. We were a godly people.  We were a just people.  We were a people founded on the love of God and love of the independence to practice our beliefs in our own way.  God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit would lead us if we would only submit to their authority.  We would always be invincible because we allowed God to show us the way.
But your God has become different from my God.  Your God is judgmental and vindictive.  My God is loving and kind.  My God says, "Let him without sin cast the first stone."  Your God says, 'An eye for an eye.'  If that is what we all believe and practice, how will we not all end up blind?  Or are we blind already and I just didn't recognize it?
When Pilate asked Jesus, "But you are a king then?"  Jesus responded, "Yes, I was born for that purpose.  And I came to bring truth to the world.  All who love the truth are my followers."  Pilate then asks, "What is truth?"
Matthew Henry's Commentary says this:  Christ gave an account of the nature of his kingdom. Its nature is not worldly; it is a kingdom within men, set up in their hearts and consciences; its riches spiritual, its power spiritual, and its glory within. Its supports are not worldly; its weapons are spiritual; its needed not, nor used, force to maintain and advance it, nor opposed any kingdom but that of sin and Satan. Its object and design are not worldly. When Christ said, I am the Truth, he said, in effect, I am a King. He conquers by the convincing evidence of truth; he rules by the commanding power of truth. The subjects of this kingdom are those that are of the truth. Pilate put a good question, he said, What is truth? When we search the Scriptures, and attend the ministry of the word, it must be with this inquiry, What is truth? and with this prayer, Lead me in thy truth; into all truth. But many put this question, who have not patience to preserve in their search after truth; or not humility enough to receive it. 
I think I find the most peace in this statement.  We are all of us, we human beings, looking for TRUTH in the world.  We are so very busy looking and doing, that we have forgotten to be.  We're trying to fix it.  We're trying to convince others.  We're fighting for our beliefs instead of allowing the King to fight for us, allowing us to rest in his Truth, the only Truth.  We 'have not patience to preserve in our search after truth; or not humility enough to receive it.'  Truth is freely given to those who are willing to just be in it.  It is not of this world.  Thank God!