My Heart Is His

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18

I haven't written for a while, here or anywhere else. Lots of reasons but mostly I couldn't put my thoughts together.  I needed a little time to 'be still' and allow GOD to work in his time.

Have you ever noticed that it's always the last thing we do...when we've done all we can do, then we pray, then we leave it at the cross?  Why is that?  After all, if we truly know Christ, then the first thing we should do is go there, right?

It's just backwards from the way we human beings think, and isn't that exactly what my one of my favorite scriptures says, "My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts," or, as the New Living Translation says, "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.  "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Isaiah 55:8.

So, why is it that we try to fix it first and then take it to the LORD?

I was reading an article the other day listing six signs that you're under spiritual attack.  Huh, interesting; I wonder what those might be.  Satan isn't something I talk about a lot.  I recognize his presence in the world and I have taught the kids that that presence is the force that produces the ugliness in the world, but I don't spend a lot of time there.  I prefer to focus my energy on the good, on GOD.

So I was reading this article and as I went down the list, it became apparent to me that of the six attacks I was facing all but one of them. As my pastor said to me not too long ago, "It feels like they're coming from every corner," and he was right.  It certainly felt that way.

Here's what has come to me as I've processed the last few weeks...

It's not our fight.

This fight is in the spiritual realm and there is NOTHING we can do to win it.  In fact, it's already been won.This particular battle may be over and it might appear that 'the good guys' have lost, but the war is the LORD'S and he doesn't lose. 

He may decide that this particular battle is over, it's not worth the fight on this front right now, but the war is HIS.  He knows our deepest thoughts.  He knows our hearts.  He knows what we need and when we need it.

I said to someone not so long ago, "I'm so tired.  I need a break from this, at least for a while.  Wouldn't it be nice to have an 8:00 to 5:00, Monday through Friday job with the flexibility to set my own schedule?  Something that didn't take everything I have?  A place that I can rest for a while.  Something with some benefits and, maybe even, advancement.  A place where I can get my life back.  Not that I minded giving everything I have to this place, but I have found that my well is dry.  In trying to serve the LORD with everything I have, I am depleted."

"But I'll serve as long as you want me to, Lord!"

My new job will, probably, begin soon.  It is back in childcare, where I spent so much time in my early days in Nebraska.  It will be 8:00 to 5:00, Monday through Friday.  I will set my own schedule working from home two days a week and out visiting childcare homes three days.  I will have better benefits than I have had since I was in the public school system.  It is something that I can advance in, across the country.  

Do you see that?  

I keep thinking of Elijah as he ran from Jezebel..."Just kill me now," he said. "I am done."  And GOD took him to the wilderness and then to shelter where he was fed, cared for and given an assistant.

I am certainly no Elijah, please don't misunderstand!  I would never make that comparison, but isn't that what the Bible is about...finding those stories in which we can find ourselves?

And then know that GOD was with them and if he can be with them, then he'll be with me too...as long as my heart is his.

I cannot tell you more about what my immediate (or long-term) future holds and, to be honest, if I start thinking about all of the answers yet to come...where will we live, can we make ends meet in the city...how will this affect my son...

I become overwhelmed.

But you all know me.  I look for the lessons.  What is the lesson in this?  

• God is still good (and always will be).

• I can trust him to do what is best.

• I am wonderfully loved.

• Whatever is in store for us, GOD will be there.

I want to thank you for all the love and support you have given over the past days, months, and years.  You have served as the hands and hearts of God and we have felt it.  

Thank you!

And thank you, Most Dear Heavenly Father!