Do Not Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

Author Unknown

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that sufferingproduces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

Romans 5:3-4

The Cracked Pot



A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master's house it had leaked much of it's water and was only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws to grace his table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.
Author Unknown

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.  

Philippians 1:6

       

Failure Is Not Falling Down. It's Staying Down.

In 1991 Anne Busquet was General manager of the Optima Card division for American Express.  When five of her 2,000 employees were found to have hidden $24 million in losses, she was held accountable.  Busquet had to face the fact that, as an intense perfectionist, she apparently came across as intimidating and confrontational to her subordinates--to the point they were more willing to lie than to report bad news to her!

Busquet lost her Optima job, but was given a second chance by American Express:  an opportunity to salvage one of its smaller businesses.  Her self-esteem shaken, she nearly turned down the offer.  Then she decided this was her chance to alter the way she related to others.  She took on the new job as a personal challenge to change.

Realizing she had to be much more understanding, she began to work on being more patient and listening more carefully and intently.  She learned to solicit bad news in an unintimidating way.

Four years after she was removed from her previous position, Ann Busquet was promoted to be an executive vice-president at American Express.

Failure is not the end; it is a teacher for a new beginning and a better life.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.

Proverbs 24:16

The Seven Powers for Self Control

Lesson 4:  The Power of Free Will

The only person you can make change is you.

I once worked with a person who spent the greatest part of her life trying to change everyone around her.  No one could do things the way she thought they should be done.  When anyone tried to help her, they were greeted with all the reasons they couldn’t do it and she shoved them aside.  It didn’t matter whether we were talking about her personal life or her professional life, if someone wanted to work with her or to help her, they had to change to meet her specifications and those specs were unattainable.  I think we all have someone in our lives that is like this.  They complain and complain that no one ever helps them and there is a reason for that.  No one wants to be in the line of fire.  No one wants to feel inadequate or unable. 

“One key to successful leadership is continuous personal change. Personal change is a reflection of our inner growth and empowerment."

Robert E. Quinn

 I would like to suggest here that if you want other people to change, you should look at yourself first.  Whether they are children or adults, you can never force someone to change.  You can try, but you will fail.  Children may attempt to do what you want, for a time, but there will come a point when you are no longer the center of their universe and pleasing you will not be a priority.  They will become what they choose, regardless of what you think.  If you have spent years trying to make them be what you want, they will just rebel and you won’t understand why they’re different.  The change was never really about them, it was about you.

 When you change yourself, when you change your behaviors, others around you will change theirs as well.  This won’t happen overnight.  They will test you to see if the changes you are making are permanent, if they’re for real, but in time, if you hold true to yourself and the changes you have made in yourself, they will want to change to be better, like you.  Instead of changing to make you happy, they will change because you are happier, and they want to be happier too.

 You will lead by example.  In lesson two, we talked about my friend who told me that we always see in others what we don’t like in ourselves.  Take a look at those things that bother you about your child or your spouse or your co-worker.  Really look at them.  What is it that really bothers you?  Instead of thinking about what the other person should do to make it better, what can you do to change it?  What do you need to change about yourself to make it different, to make it better?  There is something that you need to do better than you are.  What is it?

"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."

Confucius

Karen Kaiser Clark, in her book Grow Deep Not Just Tall, says, “If April showers bring May flowers, they also bring the worms.  Those wiggling, slithering creatures are the tillers of the soil.  Perhaps to us not pretty, but their mothers claim they are….Not all that we face can be changed or accepted.  But few fears are released…until we change them.”  The task of looking inward, instead of outward to everyone else is not an easy one, but remember, what you see when you do this  is what your children, your spouse, or your co-workers see whenever they look at you.  It may not be pretty, it may surprise you, but it is well worth taking a look at.  I assure you that you will find things there that you do like, that you’re proud of.  Hang on to those!  But keep looking into the darker places, the places that make you feel uncomfortable.  You will be surprised what is hidden in there!  We all have them, those places that we think are just better left alone, in the dark.  The problem is, they don’t stay in the dark.  They will always come out and they’ll do it when you least expect it. 

 I recently had this happen to me.  I had some old family business that I thought was long over.  I thought that I had cared for it and had moved beyond it.  Then I moved closer to my family, closer than I have lived in years, and I was surprised one day to find that this old, familiar, not-so-great ‘friend’ had come back.  I was allowing my old feelings and hurts to determine my current path.  I have no idea what my family really thought or thinks, I only know my feelings about what I thought they were thinking.  See the fallacy in this?  First of all, it was all in my head, my own thoughts.  I convinced myself, no one convinced me.  No one even talked to me about it.  It was a conversation I had all by myself.  And I believed every word of it!  Until a friend not so mildly reminded me of who I really was, and what I had spent years changing in myself.  When I examined what she said, I was shocked to see the person in the mirror.  It wasn’t the world around me that needed to change, it was me! 

 Ms. Clark says, “Growth never completes itself.  Nor does love.  Nor do we.  In our reaching toward completeness we affirm our imperfection.  Time pushes us to grow beyond momentary arrivals.  Life presses toward greater meanings.”  We are never fully grown.  We are never perfect.   If we think that we are, we will be sadly reminded of this fact over and over again.  Life is about change.  It’s about facing who we have been, who we are now, and who we want to be.  It is about loving ourselves first, not in a selfish way, but in a way that accepts us and cherishes us for who we are and understands that who we are is not what we could be.  We can be better.  We will be better and when we are, the world will be better with us.