I Just Gotta Ask ... WHY?

I have a question. Not surprising, I know, coming from me.  My son says that the new license tag on my car ending in Y4S is absolutely appropriate for me (I didn’t choose it, it just happened).  You see, I have to know why.  If you can explain to me the ‘why’ of something, then I can wrap my head around it and assimilate it into my being.  If not, then I am lost.  I’m sorry, I just am.

Just like algebra.  My younger brother used to help me with it and I remember asking him why?  “Why do you do it?  How do you know you’re supposed to do it?”  When his answer was simply, “You just do,” I was lost.  I never ever really understood it. There is no ‘why.’

 

I have spent the better part of my life looking for the ‘why.’   'Why' does that child behave like that?  'Why' does that agency or organization do it that way?  I always liked the quote from Bobby Kennedy, “Some men see things as they are, and ask why.  I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.”  But I think it comes back to understanding ‘why’ they are as they are.  Then you can make changes.  Because I am always ready for the ‘why not?’

Now, this idea of examining the ‘why’ tends to freak some folks out.  Like my brother with my math.  He would get so frustrated with me, “It just is,” he would tell me.  Don’t look!  Don’t ask!  Just accept!  It is what it is!  That’s why he’s the accountant and I’m the teacher, I guess.  Numbers are finite.  I like the infinite.

So, here’s my question.  In this day of sides and tribalism and, honestly, hatefulness towards those who think differently from us, ‘why’ is it that we’re fixated on other people to give us the answers?

Jesus spent thirty-three years walking this earth, three in ministry and teaching, and I don’t remember one time that he said anything other than, "Look at me. I am the way."  Today, everyone is so intent on their side being right and the other being wrong, but what if we’re ALL wrong?

 

Don’t we have our eyes in the wrong place?  ‘Why’ do we think a stacked Supreme Court (either way) is going to make our world better?  ‘Why’ do we think Congress being one-sided will fix everything? 'Why' do we need a president from our party, not theirs?  ‘Why’ are you just plain wrong, and I am right?

Tell me where Jesus said this was how we were to handle life.

I don’t remember anywhere that Jesus said believers should go to those people in charge to find solutions.  In fact, what I do remember is him saying, when asked, to "give to Caesar what was Caesar’s and give to God what is God’s."  It seems to me there is separation there.

I don’t find in scripture anywhere that Jesus said, “ Here's the plan:  Let’s get more Jews involved in the government and then we’ll have the power.”  Or “If we can only get a majority of those who think like us, then…”

Didn’t he say we are to be in the world, but not of the world?  Didn’t he say his ways were beyond our ways?  And yet, aren’t we trying to make his ways fit our ways?  Isn’t this the very same lesson the Jewish people kept getting wrong throughout the Bible?

Didn’t he say it was really simple…"Love each other and, more than that, love God?"  How does that fit what we’re doing?

How many times did the church kids ask me as we studied the bible stories, “And they just did it again!  Why didn’t they learn?  They mess up.  God punishes them.  God forgives them.  Start over.  'Why' didn’t they learn?”

You know, that’s a very good question.  We have a really good history book that lays it out for us, over and over again, how division and hatred and animosity and vengefulness tore apart the chosen ones time and time again.

'Why' didn't they learn?  That's a very good question.

A Bit of Wisdom

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It never was between you and them anyway.

Author Unknown  

The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit.  Proverbs 14:8 

The Stone

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND , "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE ."

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH.

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'


THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN, AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.


TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE,

 
BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE KNOWN IN YOUR LIFE!

 Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:10

Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-friendship-20-good-scripture-quotes/#ixzz1zx2pgfU8

Words Of Great Wisdom



1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. If it was not earned or given, it is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth - whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people's thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life's lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones will within this universe.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self - all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others - especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

20. Share your good fortune with others. Participate in charity.

The Native American Code Of Ethics

To Forgive Is to Set a Prisoner Free and Discover the Prisoner Was You

Meredith was surprised to find a letter in her mailbox from her brother, Tim.  It had been three years since she had spoken to him, even though they lived in the same town.  In the letter, Tim told her he and his wife were expecting twins and he hoped she would come to visit the babies after they were born.  He expressed his sorrow that they had not communicated more, and apologized for whatever it was he had done to cause them to be estranged.

Meredith's initial reaction was one of anger.  "Whatever it was?"  Didn't he know?  She immediately sat down and wrote a five-page letter detailing all the wrongs Tim had committed that hurt her.  The phone rang, however, before she could put her letter in an envelope, and it was several hours before she returned to her writing desk.  Upon rereading her letter, she was horrified at what she found.

She had thought she was being very matter of fact, but her words were full of anger and pain.  Tears of forgiveness filler her eyes.  Perhaps it wasn't all Tim's fault. 

She called him the next day to say, "I can hardly wait to be the aunt of twins!"

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14,15

Those Who Deserve Love the Least Need It the Most



On their way back from a meeting of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese, Father Demetrios Frangos and father Germanos Stavropoulos were in a car accident. A young woman high on PCP drove into their care while they waited at a stoplight and both priests were killed instantly. The woman, a legal secretary with a seven-year-old, had no previous police record, but admitted to having used drugs for 10 years. She was charged with murder and several other felonies. The tabloid headlines were especially vicious, referring to her as the "priest killer."

Father Demetrios' son, George, responded with forgiveness, not anger. He offered to help provide the woman with a lawyer and hoped if she was convicted the sentence would be short. He said, "The last thing my father would have wanted was to make an example(of her). This woman is anguished and troubled to begin with...we have to look after the innocent one, the child. It is extremely important that her child be told that we forgive her mother."

George Frangos loved his father and grieved for him, but more important to him than "legal justice" was "divine justice."

Forgiveness is Giving Love

When There is No Reason To

Lisa was shocked when she discovered that David had run up thousands of dollars on every one of their credit cards.  Not only was she furious about the mountain of debt, she was frustrated with herself for not recognizing David's habit of compulsive spending.

In the days that followed she wondered if she could ever trust her husband again, and whether they would ever be able to get out of debt.

Rather than wait for something to happen, she took two bold steps.  The first was to convince David he needed help, and the second was to seek out a financial planner.  She learned if she carefully monitored family funds, they could be out of debt in a few years.  This brought hope for her financial future of their marriage.

Another turnaround in their marriage came when David asked Lisa to forgive him.  She found that forgiving David freed her to turn away from the matter of money and to focus on their relationship.  She decided it was possible to love someone even though they had "messed up."  Forgiving made rust possible again, and once trust was re-established their marriage began to be healed.

Forgiveness turns the heart away from what was and is, to what can be.  Is it time for you to take some bold steps?  If love is your motive, be encouraged.  Situations can change.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Matthew 5:7

Forgiveness

I can forgive, but I cannot forget," is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."  Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.

A man once had too much to drink at a party.  First, he made a foolish spectacle of himself--even to the point of wearing the proverbial lampshade as a hat--and then he passed out.  Friends helped his wife take him home and put him to bed.  The next morning he was very remorseful and asked his wife to forgive him.  She agreed to "forgive and forget" the incident.

As the months went by, however the wife referred to the incident from time to time, always with a little note of ridicule and shame in her voice.  Finally, the man grew weary of being reminded of his bad behavior and said, "I thought you were going to forgive and forget." 

"I have forgiven and forgotten," the wife argued, "but I just don't want you to forget that I have forgiven and forgotten."

Once we have confronted an offender, we must remember nothing is gained from harboring unforgiveness in our hearts.  Forgiveness requires a healing process inside us--to the point where we no longer feel any pain at the memory of what the other person did or said to injure us.

We "forget" when we no longer hurt!  Forgive, forget, and start living again.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32

Judge Not

I've had an interesting last few weeks.  I've started a new job and I really love  almost all of the people that I work with.  They have made me feel so welcome and at home.  I don't know that I've ever moved to a new place that made me feel so loved.  I'm so glad that I've landed in such a wonderful community.  Almost everyone has made me feel this way.  I don't know if this is unique, or just part of living in a community that sees quite a few tourists every year.  Whatever it is, I'm glad I'm here!

On the down side, I've begun working with a couple of people that are making life interesting, to say the least.  I don't know whether it's the profession we work in or whether they have just appointed themselves judge and jury because they can, but these people have taken it upon themselves to decide how everyone else should live their lives.  And when it doesn't meet their expectations, they bash the unwary folks over the head with their words and actions. 

These are two Christian people.  They preach the gospel to anyone who will listen and they have decided that it is their mission in life to force everyone to live by their interpretation of the Bible.  I have heard them tell their children that it is NOT permissible for them to play with 'those' kids.  I have watched them handpick members of the community that they will work with, because the others just wouldn't do.  I have watched them send letters to people and verbally assault these people who have been offended and hurt them beyond measure.

These folks and I have had a few conversations about 'sharing' the words of Christ and the Bible.  I have shared my view of how to I think this should be done:  I believe you must have a relationship with people so that when you try to share God's word, you can be an effective witness.  I don't believe that you can walk up to just anyone, regardless of how long you've been acquainted, and verbally beat them over the head with God's word.  If you don't have this deep relationship, the words will bounce right off and anything you may have been able to help them with, is no longer possible.

Why is it that in today's world, we have so many people hurting so many others  in the name of God?  I remember many years ago when I started working as a Christian education director at a large metropolitan church.  I had never been a paid employee at a church before.  My work had always been as a volunteer so this was all new to me.  I remember my uncle sitting down with me and telling me that I needed to beware.  "You've never been screwed until you've been screwed by a Christian," he said.  Boy, was he ever right! 

I've read all the way through the Bible many times, and I've studied it since I was in college.  I don't know anywhere that Jesus refused to meet with anyone; in fact, I believe he was put down precisely because he ate with the less than prominent people.  He chastised folks around him but he always loved -- everyone!  His heart was open to all and he never turned his back on anyone who needed him.  Isn't his death on the cross an indication to all of us that we are to spend our lives reaching out to others in love?

I believe that the folks who are perpetrating this mean and vicious behavior on unsuspecting 'friends' would tell you that they are doing this for exactly this reason.  I don't see any love in their actions.  I see judgement and condemnation.  I hear, "You live life the way I think you should live it or it's wrong."  I see no compassion or understanding that we are all failures at loving each other all the time.  I only see judgement.  I only see public stoning.  Wasn't it Jesus who said, "Let ye without sin, cast the first stone?" 

What is it about our culture today that has created so many judges?  When did we become God to sit in judgement of our friends and family?  I hear so many people now days proclaiming others in the wrong.  My question is and has been for many, many years:  is it wrong or is it just different from what I would do?  When did doing things differently make them wrong?  I thought we were a country based on the principle of everyone having the opportunity to live their own Godly life. 

I don't watch much television anymore.  The news shows are less about the news and more about their opinions of the news.  I don't need their opinion; I can form my own, thank you.  Radio talk shows are the same.  I don't listen to those much either.  It seems that everyone has an opinion and by gosh, you'd better agree with me because, we all know, that I'm right! 

What are we teaching our children when we behave this way?  If we can't tolerate each other and allow each other to be human, how will our children ever learn tolerance and cooperation?  What will the future of the world look like if we can't find the love in our hearts for each other?  Jesus' commandment was to love each other.  Certainly there are times when we must say something to the people we love when we are fearful for them and their actions.  But those words are tempered by our deep relationship with those people and the understanding that they will find the meaning behind our words...and the love.