Friendship Improves Happiness and Abates Misery



By Doubling Our Joy, and Dividing Our Grief

They call themselves the "Ladies of the Lake" but they never set out to be a club.  Rather, the group began when one of the women returned home exhausted from a business trip and came to the conclusion that she had too much of one thing in he life:  MEN!  With a husband and two boys at home, a work environment that was mostly male, and an elderly father and uncle for which to care, she resolved to set some time aside for herself and a few female friends.

Over the years, Paula hadn't cultivated very many friendships with other women, but she was determined to see that change.  Eventually she discovered three like-minded women:  one owned a machine shop, one worked or a contractor, and one ran a truck stop.  The women pulled out their calendars over dinner one evening and agreed on this schedule--"A trip to the lake at least once a quarter!"

At the lake, the women would listen to Mozart, fix gourmet dinners, and sit on the deck overlooking the water.  They would talk for hours--about everything--without an agenda.

Over the years, they became very close and often refer to each other as "sister."  Says Paula, "Nobody understands like another woman."

For all of my "sisters" I love you and I thank you!

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

New Friends

This has been a week of getting out of my comfort zone and embarking on new experiences.  Each day this week I have enjoyed the company of new friends while I engaged in some fun.  Last night, for instance, I visited a women's barbershop group.  Wow!  What a great bunch of women and they really are wonderful to listen to.  The harmony is just spectacular!  I enjoyed it and will visit again, but I'm not certain that it will become a permanent part of my life.  There were ladies of all ages there, from young ladies to .....gently aged ladies.  It was fun.  My vocal cords were exhausted afterwards.  It's the most they've been used in many moons. We'll see.  It was just fun to be around a group of women like that who didn't take everything so seriously.  Missed notes, missed entire lines...we all just laughed and tried again!


Isn't it interesting how the entire process of friends, old and new, works?  I think about my best friend. When I first met her, I would never have guessed that we would become 'sisters.'  Not that there was anything about her that I didn't like.  I just had no intention of staying around long enough to get to know her.  As things happen, we worked together for over twelve years and developed a relationship that I value so very much today.  I have moved away from her now and we don't talk everyday like we used to but we still talk in some way every week.  I value her opinion and respect her advice.  She knows me in ways that others never will.  She is my sister.


Will my new friends and I develop the same kind of relationship?  I'm sure that I don't have the answer to that question.  It will be interesting to watch how it all unfolds here in this new place.  They are all very nice.  We seem to have much in common.  But how does it happen that two people become life-long friends?  What is it that determines who will become that 'special' friend and who is just a friend.  Certainly, as I think about my life, the people that I thought would really be good friends, didn't always turn out to be and vice versa.  I remember a good friend in a community I lived in twenty years ago.  She was the president of my board of directors.  I came away from our first meeting thinking that there would be no way she would be my friend, in fact, it would be difficult to work with her.  I was very pleased to learn more about her and she and her husband became very dear friends with my husband and me.  Likewise, I have a friend from high school.  We don't speak often, in fact until the last year or so we spoke only every five years or so at class reunion time, but we pick up right where we left off each time we're together.  She is also my 'sister.'

I love to examine relationships and wonder about why they work or don't.  What is it we're seeking in others that helps us fulfill a need?  The fact is we are all sisters.  Some closer than others, some new ones, some old ones, but we're all connected to each other.  We all need each other in some way.  A woman will understand you nine times out of ten, even if she's never met you before, simply because you both share that female gene.  It's really amazing, isn't it?

Whoever they are, wherever they are, I am thankful for my sisters!  We learn so much from each other.  Some have carved a path for us and their wisdom and understanding are lights on our pathway.  Others are following behind expecting us to clear the way for them, sharing our insights and lessons learned as we go.  Regardless of where we fall, we are sisters and I thank God for them all!