My Comfort Zone



I  use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor

I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But deep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone 'goodbye'
And closed and locked the door.

If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you!

Author Unknown

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 9:10

A Day in Harbor is Safe

But that is not what ships are built for.
William Shedd

I'd like to talk about comfort zones a little bit.  If you follow my blog, you know that I work with youth at a church.  I've done this before, but it's been a few years.  OK, it's been twenty years.  This afternoon I will take a group of eighth graders on an overnight trip to begin their confirmation class.  I know these young people.  We've been together in youth group for the past six months.  They are good kids and I'm certain that we will have fun while we begin to learn about what it means to be a confirmand.

Here's the issue:  it's been twenty years since I've taken a group of kids on a trip like this so I'm feeling a little out of my comfort zone.  Isn't that interesting?  It's not that I don't think I can do it.  I have done it before.  There's nothing especially difficult about it.  It's just that it has been a while and I had sort of settled into a routine that was safe and predictable.  There is nothing predictable about eighth graders, especially when you have them overnight! 

Have you noticed that comfort zones are always changing?  You move from a smaller comfort zone to a larger one.  Your next comfort zone is larger than the last one.  In each new zone, you feel the same amount of safety or threat, but your zone has grown. 

Comfort--You feel safe and secure.  Discomfort--You feel unsure and fearful, sometimes overwhelmed and ready to give up.  And then Comfort again--you feel exhilarated and grateful.  And the cycle keeps on going.  What we don't realize is that each time this happens we grow a little more.  You've seen it play out in your life in various ways:  athletics, music, socially, or professionally.  At each stage, you moved through discomfort to comfort--and became a prime candidate for discomfort again as you cycle through your life of learning.

I'm feeling discomfort right now, as are the parents.  I have already had two calls this morning.  You see, I know the young people pretty well, but the parents and I don't know each other well yet.  We will.  As we proceed through the year we will have several of these cycles and we'll all stretch our boundaries and grow together. 

Comfort zones...by tomorrow evening I'll be there!   

New Friends

This has been a week of getting out of my comfort zone and embarking on new experiences.  Each day this week I have enjoyed the company of new friends while I engaged in some fun.  Last night, for instance, I visited a women's barbershop group.  Wow!  What a great bunch of women and they really are wonderful to listen to.  The harmony is just spectacular!  I enjoyed it and will visit again, but I'm not certain that it will become a permanent part of my life.  There were ladies of all ages there, from young ladies to .....gently aged ladies.  It was fun.  My vocal cords were exhausted afterwards.  It's the most they've been used in many moons. We'll see.  It was just fun to be around a group of women like that who didn't take everything so seriously.  Missed notes, missed entire lines...we all just laughed and tried again!


Isn't it interesting how the entire process of friends, old and new, works?  I think about my best friend. When I first met her, I would never have guessed that we would become 'sisters.'  Not that there was anything about her that I didn't like.  I just had no intention of staying around long enough to get to know her.  As things happen, we worked together for over twelve years and developed a relationship that I value so very much today.  I have moved away from her now and we don't talk everyday like we used to but we still talk in some way every week.  I value her opinion and respect her advice.  She knows me in ways that others never will.  She is my sister.


Will my new friends and I develop the same kind of relationship?  I'm sure that I don't have the answer to that question.  It will be interesting to watch how it all unfolds here in this new place.  They are all very nice.  We seem to have much in common.  But how does it happen that two people become life-long friends?  What is it that determines who will become that 'special' friend and who is just a friend.  Certainly, as I think about my life, the people that I thought would really be good friends, didn't always turn out to be and vice versa.  I remember a good friend in a community I lived in twenty years ago.  She was the president of my board of directors.  I came away from our first meeting thinking that there would be no way she would be my friend, in fact, it would be difficult to work with her.  I was very pleased to learn more about her and she and her husband became very dear friends with my husband and me.  Likewise, I have a friend from high school.  We don't speak often, in fact until the last year or so we spoke only every five years or so at class reunion time, but we pick up right where we left off each time we're together.  She is also my 'sister.'

I love to examine relationships and wonder about why they work or don't.  What is it we're seeking in others that helps us fulfill a need?  The fact is we are all sisters.  Some closer than others, some new ones, some old ones, but we're all connected to each other.  We all need each other in some way.  A woman will understand you nine times out of ten, even if she's never met you before, simply because you both share that female gene.  It's really amazing, isn't it?

Whoever they are, wherever they are, I am thankful for my sisters!  We learn so much from each other.  Some have carved a path for us and their wisdom and understanding are lights on our pathway.  Others are following behind expecting us to clear the way for them, sharing our insights and lessons learned as we go.  Regardless of where we fall, we are sisters and I thank God for them all!