Aging

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
-- Madeleine L'Engle

OK.  Now it's not just my son that tells me I'm old.  When I told the kids in my youth group the other night my age, they didn't say it with words, but their faces said it all,  "My gosh, she's ancient!"  One of them said, "I would never have guessed that you were....." are you ready..."THAT old!"  I'm fifty- three years old.  Alright, soon to be fifty-four.  I remember being their ages and thinking that fifty-anything was almost dead.  Yes, my mind is still functioning fairly normally, even at my advanced age!

What I didn't know then, was how much smarter I would be when I got to be "THAT old!"  I've learned so many valuable lessons, such as:

• The time to begin most things is ten years ago.  The author of this quote is anonymous but I thank him or her because this is so true.  Why do we wait?  We always think there will be a better time:  when the kids are grown, when the house is paid off, when ...whatever.  At this point in my life I've seen too many people who put off their dreams and desires until too late and they never even got to start working on them.  The dream was placed in your heart for a reason, so just start.  Don't wait for any reason.  Just begin...NOW!
• The older you get, the more you tell it like it used to be. Another author unknown.  Why is it that we tend to remember things differently than they felt at the time?  Could it be that with a little hindsight, with a little maturity and experience, we come to understand that what we thought was so very difficult at the time, was really a great lesson in disguise?  Even in the absolute worst of experiences, there is always some little glimmer of light.  With age, we see those little lights and value them because we know they are so few and far between.
• There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.-- Author Unknown  In this age of Botox and face lifts and tummy tucks and all the other tucks, I'm kind of proud of my wrinkles.  I don't have many, just a few crow's feet so far.  And I kind of like those.  I think they're the evidence that I smile and laugh a lot.  That's a good thing.  I've earned these wrinkles and I think they reflect the good life I've had.  A lot of people would tell you that my life has been hard and I've certainly had my share of ups and downs, but I choose to see it all as good life lessons and instead of frown lines, I've got crow's feet from my squinty smile (that's what a photographer told me I had one time).  YEA!!!  I've got crow's feet from my squinty smile!
• Time wounds all heels. -- Dorothy Parker  Thank you, Dorothy!  You are right!  I used to worry so much about how unfair life was.  It seemed that people who worked so hard for things always ended up with the short stick, but what I've come to understand now that I'm "old" is that everything evens out in the end.  I don't have to worry about those folks who take the short cuts, or those that walk on others to get where they want.  Call it karma, call it fate, call it whatever you want, but in the end, everyone will get what they deserve, good or bad.
• You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. -- Woody Allen  Now, don't get me wrong.  I eat healthy foods, I take long walks, I try to live a healthy, balanced life, but I also remember that this is the only life I'm going to have so there has to be some enjoyment too.  If I feel like eating cookie dough, I do!  If I feel like skipping my walk today or even a couple of days, I do!  I just don't make it a regular habit to do all the unhealthy things, especially at one time. 
• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.-- George Burns  This one made me laugh out loud, because I do this!  Now, don't deny it!  All you people my age and older, you know that you do it too!  You bend down to put your shoe on and you see some lint on the floor, or you find something you lost, or.....   You know you do this!
• At twenty we worry about what others think of us; at forty we don't care about what others think of us; at sixty we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all.  Author Unknown  You know, it really is true, if all our friends were jumping off a bridge, we would have jumped too.  Our peers were that important to us.  We spent all our time worrying about what they all thought.  Then we reached the ripe old age of forty, or thereabouts, and we just decided that we didn't care anymore.  Let them think what they want!  It's only when we reach this age that we realize just how self-centered we've been.  While we hope that we have been, and continue to be, important to a few people in our lives and that they think of us once in a while, we now understand that we're just not that important to most people.  And that's OK.
• Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.-- Author Unknown  I don't know, I still like the toy, myself!  I get both!
• Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.--Author Unknown  Too many of my friends never made it to this age.  I try to remember that when  life seems so hard. It really is a choice to find the good in each and every day.  It's there.  Sometimes it's kind of hard to find, but it's there.  Keep looking!
• Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.-- Soren Kierkegaard  I've come to understand that we're not supposed to understand all of this until we reach this point in our lives.  Now we've lived enough, we've experienced enough, to understand.  There is still time left to reap the benefit of the lessons and know that...
  Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
  -- Eleanor Roosevelt
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
   

The Simple Things

I love my new office!  Outside of my BIG window (it's most of the wall) to the west is a flat roof that extends over to the other part of our building.  It sits over the front hallway.  There is a big, very old tree that sits just across the sidewalk and shades the whole area, so I have the tree and all the birds that 'visit' during the day.  The flat roof is supposed to have a drain so that the rain water doesn't sit there but the tree continues to plug the drain providing lots of little birdbaths for my little friends.  As I sit at my computer I watch the cardinals and the blue jays splashing and soaking themselves in the water.  Of course there are the robins, the wrens, the sparrows and a couple of finches, too.  The girls in one of my classes were teasing that if they saw me with a hose this summer they would know what I was doing!

I was telling a young friend about my 'sanctuary' the other day.  Her eyes began to glaze over and I could tell that she really did not understand how special this was, so I took her up to see it.  After a few minutes, she looked at me and said, "OK.  They're just birds splashing in water.  It's nice."  But I could tell she wasn't very impressed.  Which got me to thinking (I think I've told you before that this is when the girls I used to work with would always have someplace to go)....

You know, when I was her age, I don't know that I appreciated the birds either.  So, is it my age that has made me slow down and notice these things?  Is it maturity that teaches us to appreciate the little, beautiful things in our lives or is it all the lessons we've learned by this age that have taught us that life is precious, that we should take the time to enjoy the little things in our lives because we are not guaranteed anything more than this. 

I mowed my grass yesterday and when I was finished I sat on my deck and watched the birds and the squirrels in the trees.  They're all back after the winter and they were all talking at the same time yesterday.  The birds were telling the squirrels to get out of their trees and the squirrels were talking right back to them.  (It reminded me of some people I know.  We're not so different after all).  My son had come out and while we were talking a beautiful eagle came flying over.  He (or she) just glided over the treetops for a few minutes and then flew farther north.  We are fortunate that we have many eagle's nests along the river just east of us a few miles.  This is not the first time I've seen eagles flying over our little town.  They are such majestic and regal birds!  Here was all of this chatter in the trees and there was the eagle gliding way above all the fray.

Again, maybe it's my age, but I thought about that eagle last night and how I long to be like it!  Sometimes I am those robins and wrens yakking away, not really saying anything, but making a lot of noise.  Sometimes I am those blue jays and cardinals, just enjoying the day and what God has given me.  I hope that there are just as many days that I am the eagle, gliding above all the fray and frustration, simply gliding and trusting.  The eagle seemed to look down on all that ruckus and shake his head as if he understood that all that commotion was pointless in the long-run.  He seemed to know that his place was above all of that.

I want to remember that eagle and that scene from yesterday.  I hope that I have many more like it, sitting out there this summer, but if I don't, I'll still have that video in my head to remind me that I want to be the eagle.  When I catch myself being the yakking robin, I will remember that my intention is to fly above all the noise and confusion and glide away to my quiet place, my serene place, my 'nest.'  I still want to be the blue jay and cardinal and have fun and enjoy life, too.

So, I guess I don't have an answer about the age thing.  I do think we have to have faced some of life's challenges and learned some of life's lessons to really appreciate the simple things in life.  I think that as children we enjoy it all because it is so new.  Then there is a period after our childhood that we take for granted a lot of things.  We just assume that they will always be there. 

It's at the middle part of your life, as your children are out on their own and you're slowing down a little bit  that you take the time to stop and enjoy.  We've learned there are no guarantees, no promises.  It could all be gone tomorrow so we learn to take a deep breath and enjoy...today, right now, the simple things in life.

Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue? Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom? Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss? No, though we think the world imperfect, it surrounds us each day with its perfections. We are asked only to appreciate them, and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them. The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world; He asks that we celebrate it. ~Robert Brault

Shoot for the Moon!

Why is it that so many of us are afraid to reach beyond our normal range?  We settle into our lives, get comfortable with the way things are, and just maintain it.  Then we reach the ripe old age of 40 or 45 or even 50 and we begin to evaluate EVERYTHING.  And it doesn't feel like it's enough or something is just not quite right.  We can't really put our finger on it.  There's a longing for --- something.  But what?  I've heard it explained as, "I was just skimming along the surface of my life.  Now I want to dive deep, deeper than I've every dived before."  Another friend said, "I've raised my kids, I've done my job, now I want to raise me.  For the first time since I was eighteen years old, I want to re-evaluate what I really want."


The reality is, those of us who are "middle-aged" are facing the second half of our lives.  For some this will be a long time.  For others, the time will be shorter.  None of us know exactly where we'll fall between those marks, but the reality of our life span is smacking us in the face and we want to be certain that however long the remaining time may be, it is not wasted. 


For some, it means leaving the confines of the business world, slowing down and enjoying life.  For others, as with another friend, we look for deeper meaning and start a new career in the service of others.  For me, the last few years have been an opportunity to sit back and listen to the inner callings of my heart.  What is it that I feel, that I know, in my soul I'm here to do? 


It's an interesting time in our household.  My son will be nineteen years old in a couple of weeks.  He has chosen not to attend college at this time and to create a technology business with some friends.  This has been a dream of his for several years and we both agreed that this was his moment in time to give it a try.  College is always available should this opportunity not pan out.  He is young with very few responsibilities.  Now is the time!


I watch him in his youth, lashing about, attempting to control things, to make things work his way and I remember myself at the same age doing some of the same things (we didn't have computers and cell phones but the ideas were the same--we were in control, we could make things happen). 


At fifty three years old, I've learned that we really do control our destiny.  What we think becomes our lives.  I've also learned that it's much easier to allow the things I want in my life to happen rather than to try to force the things I want.  Both ways may work, but allowing is so much simpler for everyone involved.  It's a much more peaceful existence, and I'm all about peace at this point in my life. 


Why is it that when we're young we believe that things must happen by force?  When is it that we learn that force may not be the easiest way to accomplish things?  I don't remember when that shift happened for me.  I just know that it did, and I'm grateful!  I've come to a point in my life where I don't want to, or have the energy to, force things anymore.  I'm relieved to sit back and watch as the world unfolds, just the way it is supposed to, and usually to my benefit. 


A good friend gave me a poster many years ago that I have kept on my desk, "Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars!" (Les Brown).  My son is shooting for the moon.  God bless him!  I, also, am shooting for the moon, a little more quietly, but never the less reaching for the same goal.