Making Sandcastles

Hot sun. Salty air. Rhythmic waves.

A little boy is on his knees scooping and packing the sand with plastic shovels into a bright blue bucket. Then he upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. And, to the delight of the little architect, a castle tower is created.

All afternoon he will work. Spooning out the moat. Packing the walls. Bottle tops will be sentries. Popsicle sticks will be bridges. A sandcastle will be built.

Big city. Busy streets. Rumbling traffic.A man is in his office. At his desk he shuffles papers into stacks and delegates assignments. He cradles the phone on his shoulder and punches the keyboard with his fingers. Numbers are juggled and contracts are signed and much to the delight of the man, a profit is made.

All his life he will work. Formulating the plans. Forecasting the future. Annuities will be sentries. Capital gains will be bridges. An empire will be built.

Two builders of two castles. They have much in common. They shape granules into grandeurs. They see nothing and make something. They are diligent and determined. And for both the tide will rise and the end will come.

Yet that is where the similarities cease. For the boy sees the end while the man ignores it. Watch the boy as the dusk approaches.

As the waves near, the wise child jumps to his feet and begins to clap. There is no sorrow. No fear. No regret. He knew this would happen. He is not surprised. And when the great breaker crashes into his castle and his masterpiece is sucked into the sea, he smiles. He smiles, picks up his tools, takes his father's hand, and goes home.

The grownup, however, is not so wise. As the wave of years collapses on his castle he is terrified. He hovers over the sandy monument to protect it. He blocks the waves from the walls he has made. Salt-water soaked and shivering he snarls at the incoming tide.

"It's my castle," he defies.

The ocean need not respond. Both know to whom the sand belongs...

I don't know much about sandcastles. But children do. Watch them and learn. Go ahead and build, but build with a child's heart. When the sun sets and the tides take - applaud. Salute the process of life and go home.
Author Unknown

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

Courage Is...



Someone asked me this week why I was so courageous.  When I stopped laughing, I shared with them that I don't see myself as a courageous person.  I never have. 

This person went on to tell me that I was one of the most courageous people she'd ever known. My response to her was, "Tell me more."  I was intrigued as to what I might have done to give her this impression.  I am determined, certainly.  I am not shy with my opinions, without a doubt.  I believe in standing up for what I think is right, most definitely.  But courageous?

Her answer was really very simple, "You don't let anyone or anything stop you from doing what you feel called to do.  I've never been brave enough to do that."

Isn't that interesting?  See, I envision courage as exactly what Mary Ann Radmacher says in her quote above.  I have been known to roar once in a while, but as a friend said to me several years ago now, "It takes a lot to get you there, but when you do...look out."  I just don't roar very often. 

I am much more likely to be the second part of the quote: sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."  That is much more me. 

Does that make me courageous?  I guess like so many things in life, it's in the eye of the beholder. It's certainly given me something to think about this week.  

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13. 

Just What Makes That Little Old Ant...???

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. - Robert Heinlein, 1907-1988

 

When I was first married my husband said to me, "You love it when someone tells you that you can't do something, don't you?  It's kind of like waving a red flag in front of a bull."  I guess I hadn't really thought about it before, but the answer was, "Yes, I think I do!"  I really love to attempt the impossible and make it possible.  What I discovered early on in my life is that it's just a mindset.  Some would call it stubborn, some would call it persistence, but, along with my Uncle Clinton, I call it determined. 

Determination:  The act of making or arriving at a decision.

Determination:  Firmness of purpose; resolve.

Stubborn:  Unreasonably, often perversely unyielding; bullheaded.

Stubborn:  Characterized by perseverance; persistent.

Persistent:  Refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately.

Hmmm....Yes, I would definitely choose determination:  the act of making or arriving at a decision.  I don't usually have too much trouble making up my mind.  Certainly, I am aware that there will be consequences from any decision and I weigh the consequences, good and bad, carefully before I decide.  But I am very rarely stymied by the decision itself.  Firmness of purpose; resolve...yep, that would be me.  If I believe something is the right thing to do, I will stick with it until I am finished; until the work is done.  I understand that many times others would have walked away long before I did and that is certainly their choice.  But likewise, my choice is to stay and do my best to make it work.  I learned this from watching my father over the years of my life.  He hasn't backed away from things just because they were tough.  And at the same time, he has kept a pretty positive outlook on life.  After all, whether things are good or bad is all in how you look at them.  It's a choice, just like being determined or not.

It seems to me that if you've crossed over into stubborn, then you've taken a positive and made it-maybe not a negative-but it's no longer a positive.  It's somewhere in the middle and could very easily move into the negative area.  When you move into the unreasonable, often perversely unyielding category,  it is no longer a strength but a weakness.  Being unreasonable is never a good thing.  Being perversely unyielding will only enable you to spend more time being hurt and disappointed.  There is no  up side to being stubborn.  It may get you what you want, but it's not going to make you happy in the long run.

Being labeled persistent may fall into the category somewhere between determined and stubborn.  I'm always talking to my son about the world being, not black or white, but more gray.  Persistent falls into that gray area.  Refusing to give up or let go may be helpful in some activities or assignments.  It may provide success in your efforts.  In some cases, this can be a good thing, but when it moves toward the persevering obstinately end of the spectrum you must ask yourself if this is really a good thing. 

It seems to me that it's a very fine line between determined, stubborn and persistent.  On any given day, on any given assignment I might be labeled any one of these things.  So I guess what I have to ask myself is, "What is my purpose?"  If my motives are selfish and all about me, then I am being stubborn.  If what I am doing is in the best interests of others or my well-being, then I am determined and that is a good thing. 

It's been twenty-five years since my, then, husband made this comment to me.  Someone asked me today why I continued to do something when others might have walked away long ago.  Without thinking I said, "Because it's the right thing to do."  As I was walking home, I thought about that.  Have I moved into the stubborn category?  Nope, I think I'm still doing OK, but thanks for checking on me!

Father's Day



Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. 

~Author Unknown

This weekend we celebrate fathers.  Many of my friends have posted pictures of their dads on their Facebook pages.  It is wonderful to see these pictures of dear friends, some of whom are no longer with us.  Such wonderful memories we have!  These dads were shared by all of us.  When we were growing up, we knew and understood that all of these dads (and moms) were watching over us, teaching us, caring for us.  We were very fortunate to live in a time when this happened.

I have not posted a picture of my dad.  I think he would be uncomfortable with that.  You see, my dad has lived his life mostly in the background.  As one of eleven children, and being born in the middle, he was one of many.  Not that he wasn't loved and respected for himself, it's just with all of those children there wasn't a lot of time for individual attention.  My sister has a picture of my dad from his childhood on which my grandmother has written that she worries that he doesn't get enough time and attention.  I can't tell you exactly what it says, but something like, "He worries so."

That he does!  In my entire life, fifty-four years, I've never witnessed my dad concerned about himself.  He has always placed everyone before him and has acted on their behalf, sometimes to the dismay of those around him.  It is not uncommon for him to be late to go somewhere or do something because he has been in the midst of helping a friend or neighbor.  Two years ago, on the day my dad was going into the hospital for major surgery, I looked out in the neighbor's yard to find him in a tree helping the neighbor cut down some limbs.  Many are the times my mother has stood waiting at the door for him to get ready to leave for some event because he was helping someone else.

When there have been family crisis, my dad and his brother were the first ones there to care for those in need.  When it was time to go to war, my father received a deferment so that he could stay home and help my grandmother care for herself and the younger siblings after my grandfather's death.  Except for the time he was in Korea, he never left that 'assignment.'  He remained in the community with grandma and made certain that her home was repaired, her pipes thawed, the board put on her bed for her bad back, and whatever else she needed help with (not that she asked for help a lot). 

But even with all the assistance he gave to others, Dad was always there for his four children.  I'm pretty sure he wasn't thrilled about all of the music concerts and programs he attended on my behalf.  But he was there for every one of them.  He coached my brothers' baseball teams and attended every football game, basketball game, and even a few wrestling matches.  He was there for my sister's music programs and all of her activities.  He never missed anything that we did. 

As I watched this video, I thought of the first time I remember fishing with my dad.  At that time, it was just the three of us, before my sister was born so we were about the ages of 6, 4, and 3.  Fishing is challenging with children at any time, but fishing with kids of this age has to be a daunting task.  Of course, I don't know how much fishing we actually did, but I remember him showing me how to bait my hook and cast it into the water.  And then doing the same thing for my brothers.  I remember him sitting and watching us and laughing at the antics of my brothers and me.  We didn't bring many fish home that night, but he didn't seem to mind.

Now that I am a parent of a young man who has not had the advantage of a father who had time for him, I appreciate so much more the gift my dad gave and continues to give to me.  I never doubt that when I need him, he will be there.  Even when he is not physically with me, he is with me in my heart and in my head.  His words ring clearly now and forever and his lessons will never be forgotten. 

I laughed this past weekend at our family reunion when I watched my dad and his brother telling each other not to be so stubborn.  My cousins and I sitting around the table on the patio with them all grinned at each other and understood.  Yes, they are stubborn or as my uncle labeled it, determined.  And, yes, that gene has been passed on to my generation and to the next.  There are times when this trait is maddening, but I believe there are more times when it's a very good thing.

My dad has spent his life determined to help whomever he can.  He has spent his life determined to put himself last and everyone else before him.  He has spent his life determined to love each and every one of us in the best way he knew how.  In my estimation, he has been successful at each of these goals and more than that, he has taught his children and his grandchildren the same lesson.  He is respected and loved for being just who he is.

On this Father's Day, I don't have much to give my dad.  He would tell me not to 'waste' my money and that he doesn't need anything, so I won't do that, but I can give him this.  I can give him all of my love and all of my respect.

Thank you, Dad!  I love you!