I Am There



Do you need Me ?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.

I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not understand My works.
I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.

Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me
as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.

Yet I am here. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need ME, I am there.
Even if you deny Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am there.

I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for
only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine".
Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.

Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I AM in all.

Though you may not see the good, good is there, for
I am there. I am there because I have to be, because I AM.

Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of ME does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars
and the growth of living cells are founded.

I am the love that is the law's fulfilling. I am assurance.
I am peace. I am oneness. I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance.
I am your peace. I am ONE with you. I am.

Though you fail to find ME, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never
wavers, because I know you, because I love you.

Beloved, I am there.

James Dillet Freeman

This poem received a lot of attention in 1971 when it was taken to the moon by astronaut James B. Irwin on Apollo 15. Irwin's mother gave it to him before the flight and he actually left a copy of the poem on the moon.

God said to Moses, " I AM WHO I AM."  This is what you are to say to the Israelites, "I AM has sent me

to you."

Exodus 3:14

The Teacher Asked the Pupils to Tell the Meaning of Loving Kindness

A Little Boy Jumped Up and Said, "Well, If I Was Hungry and
Someone Gave Me a Piece of Bread That Would Be Kindness.  But If They Put a Little Jelly On It, That Would be Loving Kindness."

Kindness provides a house, but love makes a home.

Kindness packs an adequate sack lunch, but love puts a note of encouragement inside.

Kindness provides a television set or computer as a learning aid, but love controls the remote control and cares enough to insist a child "sign off."

Kindness sends a child to bed on time, but love tucks the covers around a child's neck and provides a goodnight hug and kiss.

Kindness cooks a meal, but love selects the "your favorite foods" menu and lights the candles.

Kindness writes a thank-you note, but love thinks to include a joke or photograph or bookmark inside the envelope.

Kindness keeps a clean and tidy house, but love adds a bouquet of fresh flowers.

Kindness pours a glass of milk, but love occasionally adds a little chocolate sauce.

Kindness is doing what is decent, basic, courteous, and necessary for an even, smooth, and gentle flow of life.

Love is taking the extra step to make life truly exciting, creative, and meaningful.  Love is what makes things special.

Bless the Lord, O my soul...who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things.
Psalm 103: 1,4,5

Father's Day



Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. 

~Author Unknown

This weekend we celebrate fathers.  Many of my friends have posted pictures of their dads on their Facebook pages.  It is wonderful to see these pictures of dear friends, some of whom are no longer with us.  Such wonderful memories we have!  These dads were shared by all of us.  When we were growing up, we knew and understood that all of these dads (and moms) were watching over us, teaching us, caring for us.  We were very fortunate to live in a time when this happened.

I have not posted a picture of my dad.  I think he would be uncomfortable with that.  You see, my dad has lived his life mostly in the background.  As one of eleven children, and being born in the middle, he was one of many.  Not that he wasn't loved and respected for himself, it's just with all of those children there wasn't a lot of time for individual attention.  My sister has a picture of my dad from his childhood on which my grandmother has written that she worries that he doesn't get enough time and attention.  I can't tell you exactly what it says, but something like, "He worries so."

That he does!  In my entire life, fifty-four years, I've never witnessed my dad concerned about himself.  He has always placed everyone before him and has acted on their behalf, sometimes to the dismay of those around him.  It is not uncommon for him to be late to go somewhere or do something because he has been in the midst of helping a friend or neighbor.  Two years ago, on the day my dad was going into the hospital for major surgery, I looked out in the neighbor's yard to find him in a tree helping the neighbor cut down some limbs.  Many are the times my mother has stood waiting at the door for him to get ready to leave for some event because he was helping someone else.

When there have been family crisis, my dad and his brother were the first ones there to care for those in need.  When it was time to go to war, my father received a deferment so that he could stay home and help my grandmother care for herself and the younger siblings after my grandfather's death.  Except for the time he was in Korea, he never left that 'assignment.'  He remained in the community with grandma and made certain that her home was repaired, her pipes thawed, the board put on her bed for her bad back, and whatever else she needed help with (not that she asked for help a lot). 

But even with all the assistance he gave to others, Dad was always there for his four children.  I'm pretty sure he wasn't thrilled about all of the music concerts and programs he attended on my behalf.  But he was there for every one of them.  He coached my brothers' baseball teams and attended every football game, basketball game, and even a few wrestling matches.  He was there for my sister's music programs and all of her activities.  He never missed anything that we did. 

As I watched this video, I thought of the first time I remember fishing with my dad.  At that time, it was just the three of us, before my sister was born so we were about the ages of 6, 4, and 3.  Fishing is challenging with children at any time, but fishing with kids of this age has to be a daunting task.  Of course, I don't know how much fishing we actually did, but I remember him showing me how to bait my hook and cast it into the water.  And then doing the same thing for my brothers.  I remember him sitting and watching us and laughing at the antics of my brothers and me.  We didn't bring many fish home that night, but he didn't seem to mind.

Now that I am a parent of a young man who has not had the advantage of a father who had time for him, I appreciate so much more the gift my dad gave and continues to give to me.  I never doubt that when I need him, he will be there.  Even when he is not physically with me, he is with me in my heart and in my head.  His words ring clearly now and forever and his lessons will never be forgotten. 

I laughed this past weekend at our family reunion when I watched my dad and his brother telling each other not to be so stubborn.  My cousins and I sitting around the table on the patio with them all grinned at each other and understood.  Yes, they are stubborn or as my uncle labeled it, determined.  And, yes, that gene has been passed on to my generation and to the next.  There are times when this trait is maddening, but I believe there are more times when it's a very good thing.

My dad has spent his life determined to help whomever he can.  He has spent his life determined to put himself last and everyone else before him.  He has spent his life determined to love each and every one of us in the best way he knew how.  In my estimation, he has been successful at each of these goals and more than that, he has taught his children and his grandchildren the same lesson.  He is respected and loved for being just who he is.

On this Father's Day, I don't have much to give my dad.  He would tell me not to 'waste' my money and that he doesn't need anything, so I won't do that, but I can give him this.  I can give him all of my love and all of my respect.

Thank you, Dad!  I love you!

 

The Seven Powers for Self Control

 

Lesson 5:  The Power of Love

See the best in each other.

The Beatles sang "All You Need is Love."  Thomas Carlyle said, “A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.”  Samuel Taylor Coleridge said, “All men, even the most surly are influenced by affection.”

When you Google quotations about love you get 173,000,000 hits.  It seems that everyone has something to say about love.  The kind of love we’re talking about here is the kind of love you have for yourself, first, and then the love you have for those around you.  It may be your spouse, it may be your children, maybe it’s your co-workers or your teammates.  All of these people require you to love yourself, so that you can love them. 

Why would it be necessary to love yourself before you can love anybody else?  Well, it’s really simple.  If you can’t love yourself, care about yourself, how can you know how to love and care for anyone else?  It’s impossible.  Love comes from within you.  It is a respect you have for yourself, because you know that you are valuable and worthy of it.  If you don’t have this knowledge, then you can attempt to love others, but it will be a selfish kind of love, more about you than it is about them.  You will fail in loving others when you have no internal foundation upon which to build their love.

We have to find a way to see the best in ourselves.  This means, as in Lesson 4, that we have to take a look at ourselves and determine what there is to love.  We all have good things and bad things about us.  There will be those things that you are really proud of.  You ‘love’ those things about yourself.  Make a list and post it somewhere.  The truth is we all spend more time dwelling on those things we don’t like, than the ones we do.  Certainly, we need to address those negative things and work to make them things that are now positive, but there are those things, even if it’s a very short list, that we at least ‘like’ about ourselves a little bit.  Remember, what you focus on you get more of (Lesson3) so focus on the good stuff and you’ll get more. 

Faith makes all things possible.  Love makes them easy.  No one knows who said this but it is true.  When you love yourself, it becomes a simple task to love those around you and when you love those around you, you are able to see the best in each other.  This isn’t something that just happens, however.  It is a commitment to look for the good.  As we’ve talked about in the other four lessons, it is always easy to focus on the bad things, especially in others.  It is easy to decide that they are the ones who need to change.  Finding others’ faults is relatively simple.  Finding the best in each other could take some practice.

I had a student in public school, fourth grade, who was a perfectionist.  If he didn’t get one-hundred percent on his papers he was determined that he had failed.  It was a problem we worked on for quite a while before he had a total melt-down one day over a math paper.  It was the first homework assignment on long division and he had missed just one.  Because he had done so well, I wrote a great big GOOD at the top of his paper with my signature smiley face embedded in it.  As I handed out the papers the next day, he brought his paper to me with tears in his eyes to ask me why I would put this mark on his paper when it, obviously, was not ‘good.’  I tried in every way I knew how to help him see that missing one problem, on something so new to him, to all of them, was a very good thing, but he absolutely refused to see it.  He had missed one, therefore it was bad.

When I talked with his parents about my concerns over his perfectionism, they shared their concerns as well, but as we talked it became apparent that his father also shared this perfectionistic tendency.  In fact, his first question to the boy was why he had missed that one and gotten all the others correct.  It was not a question intended to teach.  It was a question intended to belittle; “If you could get all the others right, why not this one?”  I learned very quickly that there were lessons here for the father as well as the son, and if I couldn’t help the father, I probably wouldn’t be able to help the boy either.  I have no doubt that the father never came right out and told the boy that his work must be perfect, but he said it in so many other ways  that the boy had very clearly heard and taken to heart. 

As with most of my students, I don’t know what happened with this one.  I hope that there was some easing of his burden after he left my room for the next grade.  I’m certain that he was very successful in whatever field he chose.  I hope that it was his choice, whatever it was, and I hope that he is happy with the work that he does.  As for the father, I doubt that I made much difference in his thinking.  He may have been a little less quick to voice his ‘concerns’ at least in front of me, but I am certain that he still holds the highest expectations for himself and his children. 

Expectations are not a bad thing.   In fact, I have been quoted as saying,  “Children will live up or down to our expectations.”  If we set them too high, then they become unattainable as with this young man and his father; no one is perfect.  If we set them too low, then we tell them that we don’t believe they are capable of anything too difficult and they learn to not even try.  It is a fine line that we walk in setting our expectations reasonably, knowing the abilities of our children, or our spouse, or our co-workers, and then expecting that they will live up to what we believe them to be capable. 

I have also had parents who were so afraid of letting their children fail that they ‘helped’ them with each and every assignment.  You know their work when it comes in, obviously not that of a ten year old, alone.  My son always complained at the Pinewood Derby  in Cub Scouts because we helped him with his car when it came to using the power tools but the rest of the work was all his.  Inevitably, on race day, a lot of the other boys would come with their cars that had obviously had a lot more ‘help’ than our son’s.  It was always a great day, when his car defeated some of those other cars.  We had told him that we believed him to be capable and he was.  We expected to see the best in him, and we did.

It comes down, as always, to choices.  We will see what we choose to see.  We will find what we choose to find.  Choose to see the best in each other, but choose to see the best in yourself first!