Goal!

 

 

On the best sunny day, the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if you keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it, the paper will light up. That is the power of concentration.

A man was traveling and stopped at an intersection. He asked an elderly man, "Where does this road take me?" The elderly person asked, "Where do you want to go?" The man replied, "I don't know." The elderly person said, "Then take any road. What difference does it make?"

How true. When we don't know where we are going, any road will take us there.

Suppose you have all the football eleven players, enthusiastically ready to play the game, all charged up, and then someone took the goal post away. What would happen to the game? There is nothing left. How do you keep score? How do you know you have arrived?

Enthusiasm without direction is like wildfire and leads to frustration. Goals give a sense of direction. Would you sit in a train or a plane without knowing where it was going? The obvious answer is no. Then why do people go through life without having any goals?

 

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14 

All Our Dreams Can Come True--If We Have the Courage to Pursue Them



Sports psychologists have identified six re-occurring traits common among gold-medallist athletes.  These "traits of a champion" apply to both men and women, and are also dominant factors in the lives of those who succeed in non-athletic vocations.

1.  Self-Analysis:  These successful athletes know their strengths and weaknesses, and engage in critical appraisal that is honest, but never negative.

2.  Self-Competition:  Winners know they can only control their own performances, so they compete against their own best efforts, not that of others. 

3.  Focus:  The champion is always "in the present," concentrating on the task at hand.

4.  Confidence:  Successful athletes control anxiety by setting tough but reasonable goals.  As goals are reached, confidence increases.

5.  Toughness:  This is a mental trait that involves accepting risk and trying to win, rather than trying not to lose.  Winners see change as opportunities and accept responsibility for their own destinies.

6.  Having a game plan:  Even elite athletes know talent is not enough.  They have a game plan.

Everyone can develop these traits.  Everyone!

Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear to not  be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.

1 Chronicles 28:20

Are You For or Against?

It seems that we live in a world, today, of division.  Who is for this __________?  (You fill in the blank with an issue, a product, an idea, or even a thought).  Who is against this_______________?  We were all created with a mind of our own, much to the chagrin of our parents and grandparents.  We learned very early in our lives that we could use that mind to determine our own path, our own ideas.  We didn't have to think the same as our brother or sister.  We didn't even have to think the same as our friends, although it could make for some interesting conversations when you shared those differing opinions.

Here is my question...is it better to be for something or against something?  I've been doing some thinking about this lately because it seems we have become a culture of anti.  We've got anti-drug campaigns, anti-smoking campaigns, anti-war campaigns.  You name it, there's probably a group of anti-something toward it somewhere.  I'm not saying being anti is a bad thing.  I'm certainly anti anything that is harmful to ourselves or our world.  But therein lies the problem.  What I think is harmful, someone else may believe is helpful.  And then we're back to those pro versus con issues again.

Mother Teresa was asked one time if she would join an anti-war rally.  This was her reply:  "I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."  I'd never thought about that before.  Maybe it's all in how or what you focus on. 

We can choose to be against something, or we can choose to be for something else.  Mother Teresa wasn't against war, she was for peace.  There will be those that claim this is the same thing, but I think I would have to disagree.  Being against anything is a feeling of negativity.  To be negative is the opposite of being positive.  Mother Teresa was saying she chose to attack things from the positive end of the spectrum instead of the negative.  This thinking required a great deal of contemplation on my part. 

I had always been...anti-drugs, anti-smoking, anti-war.  But where have all of the anti-anythings gotten us?  In all of the years since the anti-campaigns began, have we made much progress?  We have a lot more campaigns against a lot more things, but do they work?

I wonder if we took a different approach, an approach that may be less publicized but may be more effective, if we would begin to see the changes we've all been 'fighting' for, for so long.  What would happen if we started being for things instead of against other things?  Instead of being anti-war, we followed Mother Teresa's advice and became for peace.  Instead of being anti-drugs, we became for sobriety.  Instead of being anti-smoking, we changed our focus to being for clean air.

Would it make a difference?  Some will see this shift as pointless.  It would appear, on the surface, that we are all aiming for the same goal, but I would question that.  You see, when you fight against anything, you are sending negative emotions and feelings to that goal.  These negative emotions produce all kinds of bad things because when you focus on the negative, your body takes those signals and channels those into all of your energies.  You become what you focus on, so if you're focusing on opposition and fighting, you'll get more opposition and fighting.  Even if you're fighting for something, it's still fighting.  It's still war.

If you focus on the positive, being for something, then you'll get more positives in return.  You're no longer fighting and moving in a negative direction, you're moving in a positive direction and more positives will return to you. 

I used to try to teach this concept to my preschool teachers.  They would come to me complaining about a particular child and how 'naughty' that child was.  My first question was always, "And what have you done?"  (I learned this idea from my parents.  It was always their first question to me when I had a problem).  The teacher's response was almost always, "Well, I've put them in time out, I've sent notes home to the parents, I've talked to the child over and over again.  I just don't know what else to do." 

My next question always surprised the newer staff people.  I would ask, "Have you told them what they're doing right, or well?"  The teacher would inevitably look at me as if I had two heads and say something to the effect of, "No, I don't think you understand me.  This child is a problem.  There aren't any good things to talk to them about."   My response was, "Really, NOTHING?  Do they cry when they come to school, or are they happy to come?  Do they help other children at any time?  Do they walk, instead of run, through the room?  Do they smile when you talk to them?  Isn't there something that they do that you enjoy about them?  No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, there must be something."  And as we examined it more closely, we would inevitably find at least one or two things that were good.  Many times the teacher was surprised by all the good things we could find.

My assignment to the teacher was to try something different; try to point out the good things, however few and far between they were, to the child.  Some days it would be difficult to find something, but they should do it.  Find something, any little thing, that was positive and celebrate it with that child.  Once the teacher made that shift, from the negative to the positive, change would begin to show in that child's behavior.  And there would be more positive behavior.  By the next visit with the teacher, in almost all of the cases, they would have good reports.

It's a small shift in our thinking.  Well, OK, maybe it's not so small.  For some of us, to shift away from being against the bad to being for the good, is a quantum leap but it has huge benefits.  Mother Teresa was never for war, but she understood that fighting against it would only produce more of what she didn't want.  Fighting just produces more fighting.  We've seen evidence of that over the past forty or fifty years.  Maybe it's time to try a new approach.  Maybe we need to start deciding what we're for!

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving."

 

Powerful !!

My friend, Mac Anderson, at Simple Truths shared a post with me not too long ago that I'd like to share with you. I think we all tend to forget just how blessed we are until we get a reminder. Here it is on this Friday morning:



Your Reminder...

The date was July 16, 2008. It was late in the afternoon and I was sitting in my hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky. I was scheduled to speak that evening for the Kentucky Association of School Administrators (KASA).

I was a little "down in the dumps." I hadn't gotten to exercise lately because of my traveling schedule and recently I'd experienced some mild bouts of vertigo (that inner ear condition that can cause the room to start spinning.) You got it...speaking and "spinning" are not good partners!

My keynote presentation was scheduled for 7:00 PM, but I had been invited to show up at 6:00 to see a performance they said I'd enjoy. Little did I know that I was about to see something I would never forget.

They introduced the young musician. Welcome...Mr. Patrick Henry Hughes. He was rolled onto the stage in his wheelchair, and began to play the piano. His fingers danced across the keys as he made beautiful music.

He then began to sing as he played, and it was even more beautiful. For some reason, however, I knew that I was seeing something special. There was this aura about him that I really can't explain and the smile...his smile was magic!

About ten minutes into Patrick's performance, someone came on the stage and said..."I'd like to share a 7-minute video titled, The Patrick Henry Hughes story." And the lights went dim.

Patrick Henry Hughes was born with no eyes, and a tightening of the joints which left him crippled for life. However, as a child, he was fitted with artificial eyes and placed in a wheelchair. Before his first birthday, he discovered the piano. His mom said, "I could hit any note on the piano, and within one or two tries, he'd get it." By his second birthday, he was playing requests (You Are My Sunshine, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star). His father was ecstatic. "We might not play baseball, but we can play music together."

Today, Patrick is a junior at the University of Louisville. His father attends classes with him and he's made nearly all A's, with the exception of 3 B's He's also a part of the 214 member marching band. You read it right...the marching band! He's a blind, wheelchair-bound trumpet player; and he and his father do it together. They attend all the band practices and the half-time performance in front of thousands. His father rolls and rotates his son around the field to the cheers of Patrick's fans. In order to attend Patrick's classes and every band practice, his father works the graveyard shift at UPS. Patrick said..."My dad's my hero."

But even more than his unbelievable musical talent, it was Patrick's "attitude of gratitude" that touched my soul. On stage, between songs, he would talk to the audience about his life and about how blessed he was. He said, "God made me blind and unable to walk. BIG DEAL! He gave me the ability...the musical gifts I have...the great opportunity to meet new people."

When his performance was over, Patrick and his father were on the stage together. The crowd rose to their feet and cheered for over five minutes. It gave me giant goose bumps!

My life was ready to meet Patrick Henry Hughes. I needed a hero, and I found one for the ages. If I live to be a hundred, I'll never forget that night, that smile, that music, but most importantly, that wonderful "attitude of gratitude."

I returned to Chicago and shared Patrick's story with my wife, my friends, and our team at Simple Truths. About two weeks later, I received a letter from a friend. He said, "Mac, here is a quote from Vivian Greene that I think you'll love!"

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain!"

I thought...that's it! We all face adversity in our life. However, it's not the adversity, but how we react to it that will determine the joy and happiness in our life. During tough times, do we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, or, can we, with gratitude...learn how to dance in the rain?

It almost sounds too simple to feel important, but one word...gratitude, can change your attitude, thus, your life, forever. Sarah Breathnach said it best...

"When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present....we experience heaven on earth."

This is an excerpt from a book, Learning to Dance in the Rain...The Power of Gratitude by Mac Anderson and  BJ Gallagher. 

The Seven Powers for Self Control

Lesson 3:  The Power of Attention

What you focus on you get more of.

This is a hard concept to understand well.  After all, we are taught in this society, that if we focus and work hard for something, we can make it happen.  Our understanding of this is simply that if we want something we just work for it and if we work hard enough, it will happen.   The part that very few seem to understand is that it also works in reverse.  When we focus on bad stuff, we get more bad stuff.  It’s as simple as that.

Whether you think you can or can't, either way you are right.

Henry Ford

We all know people who tend to focus on the bad stuff; their glass is always half empty.  I met a woman recently who was this way.  When I remarked at how glad I was that the fog had burned off and the sun had come out, she responded that there was no way the day would be good when it had gotten off to that kind of nasty start.  When I answered her in return that it had to get better from there, her retort was that there was just no way it possibly could be.  I tried one more time, “I hope that you have only good things from here on out today.”  Her response, “Well, there’s just no way; I don’t think that will happen.”  I found myself anxiously trying to move away from her.  I was very happy, after driving in extremely dense fog for four hours, to see the sun and know that I was safe in my destination.  I’m not sure that this woman would ever feel safe.  Maybe she had some devastating news to start her day, I don’t know, but I do know just being with her made me feel bad and she didn’t want it to change.

What a miserable way to live your life!  Remember the Charlie Brown character, Pigpen?  He was always surrounded with a cloud of dirt.  So is this woman, but her ‘dirt’ is of her own making.  She is choosing to focus on the negative things in her life.  And what you focus on you get more of.  Like attracts like, so if you choose to focus all day on the fact that you woke up late so everything will be wrong today, it will.  It’s just as easy to switch your focus to include, “Well, it’s got to be better from here on out.”  It’s a fifty/fifty chance either way, but if you predetermine what will happen by your attitude, there is NO chance of a good day. 

 This is especially true when you are working with children.  I have seen time after time when a teacher or parent is focusing on what they don’t want a child to do, they get exactly that.  Why?  Because they’ve already laid the groundwork for that outcome.  There was a little boy, preschool age, several years ago who loved coming to school.  This was his first educational experience and he was excited about it.  Now, sitting still and listening were not habits he had learned, at all, yet, so his teacher, who had limited experience in a setting such as this, was not comfortable with his behaviors and how to ‘control’ him.  Her form of ‘positive discipline’ was to seat him beside her at all times.  If she moved around the room, she held his wrist and made him follow her.  At the end of the class time, she would meet the parents, sometimes waiting in the street for them, to share the issues of the day.  And there always were issues.  It got so bad, that the parent would greet the child with, “Well, what did you screw up today?”  It’s no wonder this little guy got to the point that he hated school.  He was never allowed to be successful.  They were all set for him to do wrong and he did.  Who wouldn’t under those circumstances?  What they focused on, they got more of.  

Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind's eye, and you will be drawn toward it.

Napoleon Hill

No doubt this young man needed to learn how to be a good listener and how to remain focused in his new environment, but my great fear is that the pattern for his education was set in this first experience and that the rest of his educational life will be colored by the beginning.  I know that his next two years were not much better so the chances of him finding school enjoyable and being successful are probably pretty slim.  You know how teachers love to ‘share’ in the faculty lounge and the word has gotten around that this young man is a problem…therefore, he probably will be.

Why is it that we human beings seem to prefer to focus on the bad things rather than the good ones?  I believe that we have been programmed by very well-meaning people who were trying to protect themselves and us.  The idea that if you don’t set your sights too high then you won’t be hurt, seems to pervade our society, when just the opposite is just as true.  We may well face heartbreaks and failures in anything that we try to do, especially if it is new to us, and if we let those failures stop us from trying again, then we have chosen to limit our future.  It didn’t just happen to us, it happened because of us.  What do you think the chances are for this young man to believe in himself; to find any self-worth there?  While his parents love him immensely, they, as well as the educators, have told him repeatedly that he really isn’t capable of being successful.  He is destined to “screw up.”

I would hope that this young man will happen along someone in his life who will break the pattern and tell this young man just how lovable and capable he really is.  I hope that they look beyond the behaviors that, by now, I’m sure are very much habit, and see the young man who has a remarkable intelligence and sense of humor.  His creativity knows no bounds and when he is challenged, he is more than capable of following the rules and enjoying learning.  I know because I had the young man in summer camp-an educational, creative setting for the summer.  I found him to be a challenge to my teaching skills, merely to stay ahead of him.  He pushed me to my limits in keeping him challenged and occupied.   The difference was, I expected him to do well…and he did.  I greeted his parents with the good things he had done throughout the day.  Unfortunately, this experience only lasted the summer and then he went back to school where the teacher were “ready for him.”

 It’s just as easy to find good things.  Sometimes, for a young man with the history that this one has, you have to look hard at first, but there are positives and the more you focus on the positives, the more you will find.  The more success he had, the more success came.  Parents, child, and teacher focused on the good stuff, not the bad.  It was a choice we all made.  It’s a choice you can make. 



I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Thomas Edison